Really? That's the best you could do?

The rant for the day is people looking like they just rolled out of bed. At 2:00 PM. Why, oh why, can't a person run a comb through their hair, wash their face, and maybe put on some lipstick before leaving the house? Don't nobody look that good that they should skip it.

I just don't get this "At least I'm here" mentality. Screw that. Pull yourself together and have some self respect. And buy some real clothes, not just the same ratty sweatpants you slept in. Did I mention that the person I'm thinking of also was wearing slippers? To college? Ick.

It kind of reminds me of the lady going to the grocery store with curlers in her hair. Her explanation is, "I'm going somewhere later." Hello? You are somewhere right now. Don't we all deserve the view of your freshly pincurled self rather than seeing the little curlers lined up in formation with the lovely sheer babushka over it all? If you have to have pincurls, that is. Or a babushka.

I'm just sayin'.

It's Potty Time!

Had fun in the public restrooms at school today. Normally I wouldn't talk about such things, but it's a choice between that and the pics of pressure ulcers we saw today. Egads! Restrooms, it is.

Anyhoo, for my first incident of the day, I walked into what I like to call the "Party Potty"-you know, the handicapped stall, where you just get a scosh more breathing room. But as I attempted to go in, a kindly fellow student warned, "Hey, there's no tissue in there!" Not wanting to be like Elaine on Seinfeld, begging someone to "spare a square", I went into the adjacent stall instead. No prob.

Later, after lunch, I saw a girl that I knew from CPR class waiting in the bathroom, even though there was an open stall. I asked if she was waiting to use the stall, but no, she was just waiting. I assumed it was for a friend. I took the available stall, then heard this chick say, "No, you didn't take it from me. I just didn't want to have to clean up someone else's tinkle on the seat."

Come again? You couldn't have told me that was the reason for your loitering BEFORE I sat down?!?

As I stood up, I felt that, indeed, there had been tinkle lying in wait for my thighs to wipe it up like a big sheet of Bounty. What a wench.

So those are my Postcards from the Potty for the day. The moral of the stories is: Wipe Before And After. You can thank me later.

OK, maybe I do know something after all...

It turns out that my queasy stomach and fluttering carotids were all for naught. I got through my Physical Assessment checkoff yesterday, and whouda thunk it? I passed! My clinical instructor said that I was very efficient, thorough, and professional, and I got through it within 27 minutes. Yay! Damp forehead and armpits notwithstanding, I was pleased.

I guess maybe I need to tell the negative harpies screeching in my head to shut the hell up, or get on my side. I am sick of feeling like I am on the verge of getting kicked out of this program. I want to actually enjoy it. So maybe I will. Enjoy it, I mean.